No Day is Quite the Same
What better place than a Juvenile Justice Center (JJC) to be able to embrace so many miss-matched pieces of a child’s life from behind a lens that seeks to encourage, pray, connect, and refer! As a volunteer chaplain inside the walls of the Tarrant County JJC, it is an honor to have such a mission. Just as God created us all uniquely, it can be very clear that no child or family at the JJC experiences anything quite the same as anyone else. However, the role of a chaplain is to bring a calm and steady presence as well as a listening ear, being prepared to turn each hurting, angry, scared and lost person toward the love and compassion of Jesus. This morning, I started the day with an email from a detention officer. It was a request to visit with a girl at my earliest convenience. This is a typical occurrence and a practice the staff has become accustomed to requesting. (How welcoming to be invited by the security staff into a part of the facility where they are required to keep order as much as possible!) When I went to visit with her, she immediately began to tear up and tell me that she did not know what was wrong with her. She “didn’t know if it was anxiety or depression or what it was, but at night in [her] room, she felt like she was going to die and that the walls were caving in.” I got to hug her, and then we talked about her situation. By the time we ended talking, she was breathing regularly, not crying, and promising me that she would eat and drink everything she could “stomach,” and that she would use her words with the staff so that they could keep a close watch on her. I also told her that I was going to call the staff psychologist, so that he could assess what type of supervision she might need. And from there, our conversation ended with a, “thank you”, a half grin, eyes wide open with hope for a better night’s sleep, despite the stress of an upcoming court date. In the afternoon, I entered a holding room just outside of a courtroom. Two juvenile girls were waiting in there until someone – their assigned probation officer – would take them into court. They were each arrested last night; one girl had been to the JJC, but the other had not. Soon after introducing myself, the repeat offender asked me if I’d pray. The new detainee apparently did not connect that I was there for spiritual support. She had a look of surprise and almost a sudden transformation of peace. I could tell Jesus lived inside her because her Peace looked different than someone, who perhaps makes a conscious decision to just stop crying so to get on with a “last shot in the dark” prayer. Being short on time, I quickly prayed for each of the two girls. When I finished, both of the girls looked me straight in the eye and seemed to be trusting that I was going to listen to anything they had to say. I also trusted that they were hearing every word I was saying. So, I used my last 30 seconds to point out to each of them how special and important they were, and how I believe God heard our prayer. Other interactions I had at work, just today, included a short conversation with an attorney regarding his next career step, waving hello across the lobby to another attorney, passing by a detention supervisor and agreeing with him that it’s “good to be ‘teammates’ in this place,” receiving an email from a probation officer who wanted to thank me for friendship and check in on a personal matter I’d shared with her, going to lunch with a mixed group of current and previous employees, and preparing merit-based certificates of achievement for juveniles. The JJC is a place full of stress, yet God placed chaplaincy right in the center, if only to make daily connections with people, who just don’t want to be alone “right now.” Each morning, as the day unfolds, it is interesting and refreshing to see just who will cross my path. Praise the Lord! No day is quite the same!
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A few years ago, while working with NewDay, I met a man named Michael. When I met Michael, a father of three, he was making a transition from living an average life in a stable home, into homelessness. Just like many others in the DFW area, a series of unfortunate occurrences led Michael and his family to have to live in a shelter. This transition was not easy for Michael, he found that living in a shelter started to change the way he thought about himself. While he used to pride himself in being a provider for his family, now that he no longer had the money or the resources to give his children the things they needed, he started to question his self-worth. Soon Michael started to feel like most others who are experiencing homelessness feel, like he had lost the respect of his family. He started to believe that people were looking down on him because he was homeless. Shelter life proved itself very difficult for Michael and his family. From day one, he had to adjust to the stark differences between having his own home and abiding by shelter rules. Curfews, childcare guidelines, daily chores, and specific visiting hours were among the many ways Michael had to adjust. He viewed these rules and restrictions as obstacles as a father instead of the structure-giving elements they were intended to be. Having limited space, shared bathrooms, and basically no privacy made this season of life particularly difficult. Among all of these challenges, Michael found not being able to freely parent his children the way he felt best was the hardest obstacle. Despite this, he did his best to make the most of a hard situation. Before long, Michael worked his way out of the shelter. He found a job, worked hard, then qualified for a housing voucher. Soon after, he was out of the shelter back to independent life! Not all fathers are successful in navigating their way back to a stable life, but Michael attributes his success to these main four things he practiced: 1) Do not do it alone. Michael enrolled in NewDay’s Fatherhood EFFECT program. He attended weekly meetings with other fathers and a facilitator. These programs support fathers to develop nurturing relationships with their children. For Michael these classes helped him develop the confidence that he could bounce back from being homeless. The classes were a place for Michael to vent his frustrations, share information, and to problem solve with other dads. Michael states that the strong bonds he developed with other dads in the class gave him the motivation and confidence to father his children. The other fathers cared about Michael, and he stopped feeling isolated. This community allowed him to find strength and stability. 2) Provide your children time and care. Michael was not able to provide material things for his children during part of the time he was in the shelter. He used this time to provide his children with his time and care. Instead of becoming frustrated, use this time to play with your kids, have conversations, teach them something, and show them how much you love them. You will be surprised how much your kids will enjoy you. 3) Access to material supports. Michael felt powerless until he had some money in his pocket. Although the job he worked was not his ideal choice, it was a quick way to put some money in his pocket. Michael’s long-term plans include seeking a career. In the short term though, he needed a job. Having a source of income empowers you, even if it is not the ideal job for you. Employment is a step in the right direction. It helped Michael recover his self-esteem. 4) Be thankful, even in the hard moments. Despite the hardship of living in a homeless shelter, Michael made it a point to be thankful for the small things. Transitioning out of homelessness is a marathon, not a sprint. It requires multiple steps and slow progress. Michael chose to be thankful for the small steps of progress that eventually led to creating a home for his family. Do not forget to stop, give thanks for what has been given to you, and keep pushing forward toward your ultimate goal. If you or someone you know is experiencing homelessness while trying to continue quality parenting, let me encourage you, it is possible to support your family and nurture them well in the hard and uncertain moments with the right support and resources. P.S. NewDay’s Fatherhood EFFECT classes meet several times each week. Participants enjoy the mutual support provided to each other AND each has a personal mentor-navigator to help them connect to needed resources. Call Francisco, Reggie, or David at 817-926-9499 to join us or to refer another. written by Francisco Hernandez Recently, NewDay celebrated Three years of serving in Hunt County, teaching FOCUS (Families Offering Children Unfailing Support) for Fathers classes in Greenville, Tx. Jerry Speight, (pictured) is Executive Director of the Hope Center in Greenville. Jerry is a strong community leader affectionately known as "Mr. Greenville" because of his consistent work to strengthen Greenville in many ways and because he is known by just about everyone in this quaint Texas town. Jerry's organization does incredible work in the community with GED, Computer Literacy, Microsoft Office and ESL classes. The Hope Center is known to be quick to respond to any and all community needs in Greenville. A few years ago, Jerry began to see a need for a fatherhood program to improve families in his community. Soon after, a mutual friend connected Jerry with NewDay Services. The Hope Center stepped up to be the sponser of NewDay Services Fatherhood program in Hunt County. Pictured below is Kevin Sawatsky (orange), Lead Facilitator of FOCUS Fathers classes in Greenville along with Bob Robinson, NewDay's Program Director. Kevin, a realtor, former teacher and deacon at Christ Community church built a team of 7-10 guys who volunteer to encourage and mentor fathers in order for them to be reunited with their families. Without them, NewDay would not have the resources or personnel to facilitate a class each week. A special "Thank You" to these community leaders who have made NewDay's Programs in Greenville possible: Judge Andrew Bench and Judge Keli Aiken who refer many fathers to our program from their courts and Rick Prettyman, Pastor of Christ Community Church where FOCUS classes are held, who greatly supports our program. Each graduation night he comes in to encourage the fathers and motivate them to be the best they can be. Finally, to all of our many volunteers who serve every week, THANK YOU. Because of the consistent hard work put in by all the people above, Greenville has served approximately 180 fathers, representing close to 500 children over the last three years. Those 500 children now have a committed father in their lives! |
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